October 10, 2013
October 10 Update

Dear Ones,

It seems impossible that only 10 days have passed since Lane and I received the report that the CAT scan results showed lesions and a mass consistent with pancreatic cancer.

Two days ago, October 8, that diagnosis was confirmed. A biopsy last Friday, October 4, determined that I have pancreatic cancer which has spread to the lungs, liver and spleen. As it stands I will start chemotherapy on Friday, October 11. I have been surprised by the intensity of pain that I feel, and we are working to determine what pain medication and what dose will help ease that pain. Another concern is my lack of appetite. Lane is working hard at tempting my taste buds, but this is proving to be a difficult task.

In keeping with my current, moment by moment practice of gratitude, I would like to acknowledge all those many people from the 10 directions who are chanting for my well being. I have been touched by the countless messages of love and support from family members, friends and sangha.

myogen steve




  1. Dawa Lhatso

    Dear Myogen Steve,

    Just want to let you know we are thinking of you, here at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia. Thank you for your inspiring talk on gratitude, your courage, and your earthiness in the face of this challenge.

    May all be good.

    With love from friends on the Atlantic coast.

  2. Shoho Kerstin Kuebast

    Dear Steve,
    Sending you much love from Nepal in deep gratitude for our connection and relationship.
    And maybe strangely, also much gratitude for your nourishing us all in our practice through your perfect pointer at impermanence. It is not an easy task to die, say the least die this publicly. Yet, speaking for myself, this truth witnessed on a very respected and loved person, with whom I feel fortunate to have walked a bit on this earth together – this truth soaks my mind and heart. With death not being far away, I feel how practice sprouts right here – and I can imagine you would agree.
    I wish you much support, strength and time to clarify and actualize all your wishes and vows now and in times to come. I wish you many more beautiful moments in this body and the fruition of all your relations.
    May fearlessness and love further guide your way and may we meet again, sooner or later….
    With joy, respect and gratitude
    walking with you

  3. Nancy Petrin

    Dear Steve,

    Today as you begin chemotherapy may you be held in the wide, empty field of our love; the field that you have tended so deeply and carefully for so many years.


  4. Milo Burn

    Dear Steve,

    I do not know you well, but deeply appreciate your presence and generosity in the ways that I have known it. I feel inspired and supported by you to be as connected to this world with wisdom and kindness as I can, and carry that forward…



  5. Elizabeth Sawyer

    Dear Heart Teacher Myogen,

    A candle burns 24/7 on the small altar in the Zendo with your photo. I bow as I pass by and light incense.
    Feel grounded and solid, freaked out and bereft and everything in between.
    Want to be with you, of service to you/Lane.
    Want to be a fly on the wall so I don’t disturb.
    Want to have a lot more time…….

    Where are you going?

    Can I come with you?


  6. Abby Cunningham

    Dear Steve,

    How much I have treasured practicing with you at Dharma Eye and City Center. Thank you for your generous support, and for making these practice opportunities available to us. I am deeply inspired by the dharma talk you gave a week ago Wednesday. What a shining example of how practice benefits all beings. I will practice harder.

    Full Bows,

  7. Jay Pennington

    From Mary, Central Abbot’s Assistant, who penned the update above:
    Okay my dear Abbot. This is yet another surreal thing (me writing as you) in a week of surreal happenings.
    May you be filled with grace as you breathe in and out. And Lane too!

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